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Initiator of several new activities at the Ashram and always helpful to others, the sadhak Udar later acted also as a secretary to the Mother. Called 'Udar-da' with love and respect by the younger generation, he was always young at heart. - Sri Aurobindo's Action Journal - January 2002
Mother has often stressed the spiritual importance of not wasting anything as such acts only stop the flow of things coming to us. When I first joined the Ashram there was a wonderful organisation there to prevent waste. Bits of soap or candle, empty match boxes, even half burnt match-sticks, paper, |
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old envelopes, pieces of cloth, all the things we normally throw away were collected at the Ashram in a very organised manner. There was a special place or a receptacle where each group of things had to be kept and they were then put to use in some form or other. - Udar-
At dinner it was Pranab, Pavitra and I who ate with Mother, with Chinmayi again in the offing. At dinner Mother would say wonderful things, mostly addressed to Pavitra and in French. She once explained to me that She did this on purpose so that we, Pranab and I, could learn French in that way. That was really how I learned whatever French I now know. A truly wonderful way of learning from Mother Herself who spoke so clearly and distinctly and with such elegance. She sometimes spoke for one or two hours at a time. - Udar-
Mother had told me once that She had never asked me to collect money for her, because it is not my swadharma. The name that Sri Aurobindo gave me 'Udar' is the name of one who gives, not the man who asks. And She said, "I have never asked you to go and ask people for money because you don't know how to ask." But one day She told me, "Go and get me 10,000 rupees". For the first time She asked me to go and get her some money. I did not ask, I did not question, I just got up and I walked out, wondering what to do, whom to ask; Mother did not ask me to go to any particular place. |
Udar taking the Message |
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And as I was coming out of the Ashram gate, I met a friend of mine from Bombay who had not come to Pondicherry for many years. I saw him for the first time after a long gap. I was very happy to meet him. He said, "How are you! But you are looking a bit worried, what has happened?" I said, "Not worried, puzzled!"
"Puzzled about what?"
"About what Mother has asked me; She wants to buy something, She has asked me to get her 10,000 rupees and for the life of me I don't know whom to go to or what to ask." |
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He said, "Oh, ten thousand rupees!" He opened his cheque book, and immediately wrote a cheque for 10,000 rupees for me to give to Mother. - Udar - Well you see; I'll tell you the way Mother works. Whether people know it or not, I've had very, very good experiences. I don't know what made me open, but am open to the Mother, I am grateful for that, what action, whatever happened I don't know, I was never trained for it, but I have been an open instrument. An open instrument in the sense that when Mother asked me to do something, I went immediately and did it, without even thinking about it. Thinking blocks you. You begin to think of things, wonder how to do it, how not to do it and you get stuck in that; but if you just go immediately and do it, it gets done with so much ease; you'd be surprised how easily things are done. I began to find that things became so easy because if you went without any questions, everything fell into place; Mother arranges all the circumstances. You meet the right person, you do the right thing, you take the right step, everything will come right and everything will be done in the shortest time and that is the greatest relief; but it needs to be done without question and for some reason or the other, I had that ability, and that is why Mother found me to be a very good instrument. - Udar- The human instrument is weak and full of falsehood and Mother knows that we are imperfect, She knows that we cannot keep our aspiration for very long; She is full of compassion and love, She is the Divine Mother and She can understand that; but what She sees as important is that we want to do it, and for her that is important; and despite all our failures, She tries to lead us towards the Truth. - Udar- |
The Mother's 80th birthday cake - 21st Feb.1958
Passing the flag to Udar - 21st Feb.1958 |
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Victory Day - 7th Oct.1954 |
"People ask my blessings for so many things - for business, for work, for going on journeys, for the help of the family, for their own help, and I give them. I don't tell them, but from my side 1 give blessings for only one thing: the growth of the soul. All the other things that people ask don't concern me."
She told me "Even the greatest things of your life, you have to give up." There is a line from 'Savitri': "A vast surrender was his only strength." Two words: vast and only. Don't forget that. 'Vast' means everything and 'only' means you don't have to depend upon anything else. -Udar- |
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Udar mentioned the other day how when he described the mess in the Government at Delhi , and spoke of their slow and haphazard way etc. Mother answered, "Are things any better in the Ashram?" Udar said, "Yes, it must be very difficult for Mother." She shrugged Her shoulders and said, "The Divine has put me here for this work!" -M.P. Pandit- diary notes 6.6.1971 |
Release of the Mother's stamp by the Government of India 21st Feb.1978 |
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I know how wonderful Mother was, absolutely wonderful, with so much tolerance, so much understanding, so much compassion; above all she had compassion. She allowed all stupidity. I tell you nobody can understand her, unless they see her compassion, and that's what really kept me going. I saw it, I saw how much she suffered, but she never complained once. She took all as a part of her own sadhana. Physically she suffered, but as Mother told me 'this is my sacrifice to save the world'. - Udar-
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Udar says that today while writing a message for someone, Mother made a distinction between Divine Grace and Divine's Grace. The latter means that one must first have faith in the Divine before receiving the Grace. The former acts irrespective of whether there is faith or not.
-M.P. Pandit-
diary notes 11.12.1971
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The atomic bomb is in itself the most wonderful achievement and the sign of the growing power of man over material nature. But what. is to be regretted is that this material progress and mastery is not the result of and in keeping with a spiritual progress and mastery which alone has the power to contradict it and counteract the terrible danger coming from these discoveries. We cannot and must not stop progress, but we must achieve it in an equilibrium between the inside and the outside. - The Mother - 30th August 1945 India shall take her true place in the world only when she will become integrally the messenger of the Divine Life The Mother |
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25 - 12 - 1971 The time has come for the rule of falsehood to end.in the Truth alone is salvation. The Mother
Our best help is faith The Divine is all merciful. With love and blessings The Mother |
In the Mother's room after the work Udar, Nolini When the first use of nuclear energy was made public after the atom bomb was dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki in Japan , the Mother told me that this nuclear fission energy was an Asuric force. It comes out of the destruction of the nucleus of matter and hence its whole character was destructive. So this destructive energy must not be used at all for any purpose. "If we can use fusion energy" She said, "that would be a divine force as it comes from union."
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Then the Mother went on to speak about the four Yugas and how we are now at the end of the Kali Yuga which, by destiny, has to end the present creation by a 'pralaya'. The instrument for this destruction is the nuclear bomb. But Sri Aurobindo and the Mother do not want that this creation should pass through such a destructive process and so They are doing Their best to prevent it by stopping the use of the nuclear bomb. This is very difficult as it is such a powerful weapon that it is very attractive to the world powers, as they love to have such a weapon in their hands. It is only India that can stop this as India has a spiritual base which, though not very apparent, is still very powerful.
- Udar-
I think gratitude is special. This is something I try to remember. I ask her for something and immediately I thank her. We think that things come from our own effort. It is a mistake. Nevertheless constantly I thank Mother for every movement, every action. Also I thank her for keeping close to me.
- Udar -
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